Should I Stay or Should I Leave this Realtionship?
Posted by Wendy Jacobs at November 21st, 2016
Should I Stay or Should I Leave?
Am I Losing myself in this Relationship?
How often do we hear people say this?
In many circumstances it is true; see it is common to attach our sense of self our identity to our partner, especially if this has been a long term relationship.
We have shared a life and probably had a shared vision for our future. We have become attached to this other person, which makes it really easy for us to lose our sense of self in the relationship.
The end of a relationship can mean an end to an identity and clarity of what the future holds, this can often result in the experience of anxiety and/or depression. Losing your partner becomes a lot more than losing the person you love, it also means losing a part of yourself. Losing the future you planned, a best friend, you could also loose family and shared friends, property, stability, it can feel like you are losing everything and this is frightening! One of our greatest needs is our need for certainty, our need to predict, so the end of a relationship can be very de-stabilising for many, an can cause real havoc with our emotions and our need to control.
This experience can affect you to the point where you feel like you can’t go on without your partner which may explain why you are reacting in a fit of panic and desperately clinging to the relationship in any way you can.
It is very important to stop and reflect on the situation before you desperately try to get your partner back. You need to stop and ask yourself:
Why Do I Really Want Them Back?
If you want them back just to eliminate the suffering – in order to get rid of that feeling of loneliness and to avoid having y our sense of “self” dismantled – then you are not really wanting them back for the RIGHT reasons.
See it is common to want to get your ex back, the question is:
Do you want them back for the right reasons?
This is a very important question.
A lot of people try to hold onto their relationship for all the wrong reasons, even though they know that a breakup is probably in their best interest.
So why ? Why would we do such a thing?
Because losing the person you love is PAINFUL! And remember we are designed to avoid pain and gain pleasure.
So today I want to challenge you to think a little deeper about whether this relationship is really in your best interest.
Are you really happy in this relationship or are you just really comfortable and familiar with this person and afraid of starting over?
Ask yourself: Why do I really want him/her back?
Does this this relationship make you more or less of who you know you are?
The answer to this question will be quite revealing.
If you do feel at a cross roads unsure as to whether it is time to leave or time to stay in your relationship and would like some help to gain some clarity to help make this decision, if you would like to know how to transition out of a relationship or how you can save your current relationship then schedule a time for a free consultation with me and discover How I may be able to help:
Click on the link below and receive your gift
As always may your lives be conscious and filled with LOVE xxx