3 THINGS YOU CAN DO TO OVERCOME EMOTIONAL PAIN
3 THINGS YOU CAN DO OVERCOME EMOTIONAL PAIN
Today’s Blog is inspired by the passing of my Uncle last week. As I sat at the funeral and was present to all the pain I could see, hear and feel. I felt that it was appropriate to write a Blog about pain, actually the transformational power of pain.
This was actually the name of a talk I presented to 80 speakers last year. It was about my own journey. Pain can be one of the greatest catalysts for change. When we are in so much pain that life is unbearable we are pushed to do something that will relieve us of our pain. For many this can be a quick fix, alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, shopping, eating, you name it just about anything that will provide you with temporary relief. What do we do when the feeling of temporary relief passes and we are left with our pain?
What do you do when the pain is so bad, so crippling and you think you have done everything you know how to make it go away, but somehow it just keeps creeping back into your life? You’ve accepted, you have forgiven, you have moved on and have planned a life that inspires and for fills you. But you still have those moments when you are reminded of your deep pain.
I can share with you 3 things that have worked for me
– BE THANKFUL- Choose to see the beauty and the gift in your pain. This is not always easy but the best way I know how is to take a step right back and notice all the things that would never have happened if this particular painful experience had never happened. If you look closely you may notice many gifts, they can come in the form of new friendships, new opportunities, new insights, new direction in life, new found appreciation and love for things you may have already had.
– FORGIVE- Speak kindly, speak lovingly, speak in a way that brings healing and peace. Forgiveness is conscious remembering, if you choose to remember the pain you will experience it. If you choose to remember the joy you will experience it. Everything from the past that affects you today is simply a memory, a representation that is brought to the present, and experienced as real. So forgiveness is simply a change in perception and can be achieved in any one moment. It will bring love, joy and peace back to your heart if you choose.
– Make new plans and goals- When used well PAIN can be a beautiful catalyst for personal growth. When pain is so hard you are forced to build physical and emotional, spiritual muscles you may have never knew existed. So set new goals and take baby steps each day to achieve them, in doing this 2, 3, 6months and years down the track you will notice the difference these little baby steps made in your life and the lives of those you touch.
As a transformational coach I have learnt that pain is just part of life. In fact it can be one of our greatest gifts if used well, as it forces change. Pain quite simply it is when our life expectations do not meet our current life conditions. Suffering, is when we feel helpless to our pain, it is the illusion that there is nothing we can do about our pain. All change happens in a moment some refer to this as a miracle. This miraculous change in your wellbeing, emotional, financial, spiritual, relationship is simply a shift in your perception. The conditions have not changed what has changed is your ability to see things differently so that it brings joy and healing to your life.
So today, I encourage you to take your pain and give it an empowering meaning see the beauty and gifts this experience has brought you. Start with this phrase, “I am determined to see things differently”; you may not know what that is yet however simply making this request opens your mind to possibilities that did not previously exist. In the very wise words of Marianne Williamson, “All pain is, is love withdrawn”. I love this, it reminds me that the moment I take away my love, is the very moment I experience pain. So go out there and practice love, the world needs it. The world needs you xxx