HOW TO LET GO OF YOUR DADDY ISSUES
HOW TO LET GO OF YOUR DADDY ISSUES
So popular it has become these days to blame our parents, to blame our upbringing, to blame some external force as the reason to why our lives have not turned out the way we wanted or why we have become such sad, depressed bitter or angry people.
So popular have these ideas become that popular phrases like Daddy Issues have become so well known.
Sure in many ways our past experience and our past upbringing has a huge effect on the life we lead today. But we are not victims of our past we are not victims of how we have been treated.
I hear people say all the time “ Let me tell you what happened” “ Let me tell you what he said” or “ what she did”, “ let me tell you what they did or didn’t do and so on”
I am sure you too have heard these types of conversations too or even started them yourself, I know I have. If these stories are bad enough then we can even have an army of people behind us supporting our story. But these stories are holding you back and you know it. So maybe it’s time to change, maybe, despite the truth of these very ugly stories that many of us can share it’s time to share a new story. Maybe it is time to share a story that empowers us a story that enlightens us, a story that empowers and enlightens others too.
Life can be challenging, life can bring you to your knees, people will hurt you, disappoint you and betray you, and often these are the people you loved and counted on the most. BUT no matter what they chose to do you can choose differently, because it is how you choose to move forward from here that will determine the quality of your life.
You are not being held back today by the LOVE you did not experience in the past, you are being held back today by the love you are refusing to extend in the present. ( – A Return to Love- Marieanne Williamson)
Marianne Williamson said it best when she said “All pain is, is love withdrawn” The moment you withdraw your love is the very moment you will experience pain.
The challenge then is to learn how to love despite the pain; it’s to learn how to love despite the hurt, despite the humiliation and despite the betrayal. So, how do you LOVE when you are being challenged most, how do you love when you are hurt, how do you love when you are so angry?
The most powerful way I have learnt to release myself from the pain, the disappointments and failings of the past is to forgive.
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful ways out of your emotional hell.
Now , before you get upset, yelling how dare I ask you to forgive without first hearing your story, how dare I ask you to forgive without first understanding how tough, how bad and how ugly it has been for you. How could I possibility understand what you have been through. Before you get really mad at me let me share a quick little story.
I was with a client not so long ago.
A woman who had been betrayed by her best friend 5 years earlier and now 5 years later sitting in my office with rage in her eyes she tells, me “I will never ever forgive her!!!! never!!!!!”
It was obvious that these words had been rehearsed many times before.
Bitter, angry, lonely, she continued to tell me how she would never trust another again. NEVER!!!
This woman over that last 5 years had become so angry, so bitter, so mean, that she not only lost her husband, but many of her friends, her job too, and now her health was suffering. She had lost her love for life; life had no meaning and had become such a painful daily torment for her.
When we shut down to love with such venom we shut down to all Love. Don’t fool yourself in believing that this hatred is reserved only for this friend that betrayed you, this hatred becomes your experience, it becomes you hell.
Forgiveness is your strength, true strength lies in your power your ability to stay connected to your heart and to love even through you have been hurt.
BECAUSE YOU WILL ONLY EXPERIENCE WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO EXPRESS.
If you choose to consistently express anger and hate then that is what you will consistently experience.
Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself because: it allows YOU to let go of hurt.
Nelson Mandela said it best when he said, “ Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies”
Forgiveness allows you to let go, and see things differently. Forgiveness is choosing to have a selective memory. Forgiveness is seeing the gift in the pain and disappointment, forgiveness is the ability, the wisdom, the choice to see all the gifts you have received as a result of this terrible thing having happened to you.
Forgiveness is the ability to move forward and leave the past behind with love and thanks.
It is about recognizing that you would have never have been the person you are today if it were not for this experience, BUT what type of person is that. The choice is yours.
Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself.
Forgiveness is experienced in your nervous system, it is the way you feel emotionally, physically, psychologically and spiritually. The gifts of forgiveness is yours, you get to move forward and lead a life abundant with love, joy and happiness because you have developed a strength, a strength that makes you an even greater force to the outside word.
Forgiveness is strength not a weakness.
So yes life will test you, life will challenge you, life will bring you to your knees but it is in these moments that you get the choice to rise above and become a far greater version of yourself.
So here is my challenge to you this week –
Here is your opportunity to decide whether you will forgive or whether you will hold onto your pain. Either way you will be making a choice, a choice that will lead to more joy, more passion and more love or one that will ultimately lead to more pain and more heartache.
My wish for you is that you will learn to forgive and lead a happy, joyful life, a life full of love.
Your life can be one that is a great example or one that is a great warning, the choice is yours.
I encourage you this week to practice forgiveness, practice the art of selective remembering.
I encourage you this week when the temptation rises to tell A STORY that upsets you, that disempowers you, or makes you the victim in any way that you choose to tell a different story, a story that empowers, a story that enlightens and a story that brings forgiveness, because it is only through the disciple of telling empowering stories that you will be able to create miraculous shifts in your life.
I encourage you this week to take some quite time, some timeout to reflect on all the gifts that the most challenging experiences has brought to you and your life.
May your lives be conscious and filled with love.
God bless xxx
WHAT WE GIVE IS WHAT WE RECEIVE AND WHAT WE WITHHOLD IS WHAT IS WITHHELD.