How to Stop Obsessing Over Your Ex after a Break UP
How to stop obsessing about your Ex after a break up
When we loose someone that it is dear to us it is natural to think about them constantly. Although the relationship is over and it may have been a difficult one, it is likely that the person you lost was also a great source of great love and connection for you, and love and connection is one of our greatest human needs.
It is sometimes difficult to understand how a relationship that may have caused us so much pain can continue to cause pain after the relationship has ended. I mean most of us can logically justify why the end of a relationship is actually a good thing for us, however it does not deny the pain we feel. We are human, we form attachments and they are not always easily and painlessly severed.
One way we continue the connection even after a relationship is ended is to continue to think about our former partner, in some way this allows us to experience the connection we once had even if it feels painful. Why? Because connection is a human need, one of the highest in fact. So after a break it is essential that you find new and healthy ways to have your feelings of love and connection met. This does not mean starting a new romantic relationship before you have given yourself time to heal, although this may feel like exact thing you want to do.
What it does mean is that you now have an opportunity to discover and reignite new ways to have your need for love and connection met. I am going to teach you exactly HOW to do this:
- Take out some pen and paper and start brain storming, listing all the ways you know how to have your need for love and connection met, maybe it’s through your friendships, spending more time with your pets, connecting with yourself through meditation or prayer, connecting with your children, just list some ways to start with.
- Now rate each suggestion on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest. Do not judge your response, or write down what you think your answer should be, be honest and rate it exactly how it is for you. Once you have a score write it down.
- Now ask yourself, how I can make this score a 10? So for me one way I know how to experience love is through my children. To experience that at a level 10 is to include cuddles on the couch whilst talking to them and kissing them. I have to make time to experience my relationship with my children like this to feel the depth of love and connection I desire. If I spent time with them talking in the car it may meet my need for love and connection at a level 7. There is no right or wrong here, we all meet our need for love and connection differently. Your answer will be unique to you and they will give you the opportunity to explore what you need and how. All your answers are within you.
This is a very powerful exercise that will help you uncover answers that are so deep but defiantly accessible and this is one thing that will help you discover everything you need to re-cover from a broken heart, the love and passion you yearn for exists within you. So take the time and do the exercise, the process to mend a broken heart is a journey, there is Nothing is wrong with you are not broken, you have everything you need to live a rich and rewarding life sometimes you just need someone to help point out the blind spots to help get you there, to see and feel what has always been within you.
To stop obsessing about your Ex after a break is to re-direct your thoughts and have your needs met in a healthy way, to find many ways to experience what you once did with your Ex, this is a journey.
I really hope this blog has been helpful, if it has please leave a comment, like or share it is the greatest compliment you could ever pay. If you have questions please ask, I would love to help.
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As always may your lives be conscious and filled with love